Friday Foibles ~~ Politically Incorrect Blonde Humor

Thanks to all of you contestants who entered the Writerly Wednesday Flower Power contest! I'll be choosing winners over the weekend!!

Now, on with our TGIF fun. I've been pickin' on my own Ragin' Cajun folks lately, so it's time to find a new group of victims. Hmmmm...how's about a little stroll through Blondedom? hehe

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A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has
been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this!," and goes downstairs.

After a long while, she finally comes back up to bed. Her husband says "The dog is still barking. What have you been doing?"

The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard. Let's see how THEY like it!" 

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Two Blondes With Hammers...

Lynn and Judy were doing some work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Lynn was nailing down house siding, would reach into hr nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?'

Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end so I throw them away."

Judy got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"

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Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?

They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'

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A blonde was driving home after a football game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.

The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little Harder, and still nothing happened.

Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, "What are you doing?"

The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.

The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first!"

Friday Foibles ~~ Politically Incorrect BP Solution

Oh boy, a doubly (or triply?) offensive photo to share with my friends today. Let us all bow our heads and give thanks for our women engineers, and while we're at it, a serious prayer or two for the Gulf Coast states and their people being damaged by the oil spill.

Three-fer {Friday Foibles, Boo & Thib, Politically Incorrect Joke}

It's a rare day when I come across a joke that can be transformed into something that fits our Cajun bad boys Boudreaux & Thibodaux, shows the foibles humans are capable of performing, AND may be offensive to several different groups of folks at once. *grin* (Apologies in advance. It's just a joke...go ahead and laugh!)

Well, today's your lucky day if you like a bargain. Here's a three-fer to get your weekend started...

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Back when Boudreaux was a young stud, he decides to hop a plane to visit some transplanted Cajun friends in California. The plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence jostles Boo's carry-on full of hot sauce, coffee, pralines and other homegrown goodies he is toting to his pals. Things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by a fierce bolt of lightning.

A woman passenger seated near Boudreaux loses it completely, stands and screams, "I'm too young to die!" Then she yells, "If I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?"

There is momentary silence while everyone stares at the crazed and desperate woman. Then Boudreaux stands up. He is tall, handsome and built like a rock. His dark brown hair grazes his strong shoulders and his hazel eyes twinkle. Boo takes off his seatbelt and walks up the aisle toward the woman passenger, easily balancing as the plane sways and bucks. He slowly unbuttons his shirt and locks eyes with the now-silent woman. The other passengers are mesmerized and stare on, suddenly forgetting the dangerous conditions of their flight.

When Boo gets to the last shirt button, he yanks off his shirt and his muscles ripple. The woman (and several others nearby) gasp. In a lovely Cajun accent, he slowly speaks.............................

......"Mais sha, iron dis (this)....den (then) get me a beer!" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

arrow photo by the other Martin Taylor  

plane photo by rick

Boudreaux & Thibodaux - Politically Incorrect Hunters

It's not often I find a picture that fits both the Politically Incorrect and those crazy Cajun friends categories. Come to think of it, it also qualifies for the You Might Be a Redneck division. (The hunters and "hunting widows" amongst us will probably best relate to today's photograph.) 

Oh, I know you're saying how gross this display is, but aren't ya laughing just a little bit too?

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The spirit of Christmas finds its way down to a little hunting shack where those two bad boys, Boo & Thib, can be found spending much of their time~~~

Politically Incorrect Kartoons ~ Blonde Security

Happy, restful Sunday! I'm wrestling with some life junk (again), and editing a lovely manuscript, so my time in Blogaritaville has been limited (again). But I'm thinking about y'all and visiting when I can. Until things level out, I hope you'll enjoy today's blonde moment since Boudreaux & Thibodaux are still out in the woods hunting. Huggage!

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During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was constantly emailing the websites she frequently visited to ask for her password. The help techs talked among themselves about the well known blonde customer and her daily confusion.

It was discovered that she was using the following password:


MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy

When asked why she created such a big password, she said, "Doh! All the websites and 'earls' (url's) I go to tell me I have to make them at least eight characters long."

Politically Incorrect Cartoon ~ Autumn Blonde

We'll give ol' Boudreaux & Thibodaux a little break today since they're off in the woods hunting anyway.

It's been a while since I posted a Politically Incorrect Cartoon (PIC), so here's one in which we can observe a seasonal blonde entertainment venue to welcome in November. Break out your kids' Halloween goody bags, or if you have leftovers after the gobblins paraded by last night, munch on some of that while you enjoy! 

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No words needed~~~~~~~~

Politically Incorrect - Blonde Emergency

Before we unfurl the Sunday Funnies, don't forget that the Book Title contest ends at midnight tonight, Central Time. There's already @ 70 entries, but don't let that dampen your enthusiasm if you wanna give it a whirl. Even if you're not entering, it's fun and interesting to read the entries so far! If you DO wanna throw your title suggestion into the ring, see the original post, rules and prizes HERE. And bon chance (good luck), y'all!

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Seems as how those crazy Cajuns Boudreaux and Thibodaux had a bit too good a time last night at the LSU vs. Georgia game, shouting them on to a last minute victory. Da boys is a bit too under da weather today to spread some Boo & Thib humor.

Not to worry; there are always politically incorrect jokes in abundance! Here's one featuring a woman of the blonde persuasion. Enjoy.

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A blonde has a flat tire on the interstate, so she eases her car over to the road's shoulder, then carefully gets out of her car and opens the trunk. She takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them, and stands them at the rear of her car facing oncoming traffic.

They look so life like you wouldn't believe it! They're wearing trenchcoats and are exposing their nude bodies to the approaching drivers.

To the blonde's surprise, cars start slowing down to look at the life-like men which she thinks make it safer for her to work on the side of the road. Naturally, traffic starts to back up. Everyone is tooting their horns and waving like crazy.

It's not long before a state trooper pulls up behind her, gets out of his cruiser, and walks toward her. The blonde can tell he's not a happy camper!

"What's going on here?" he barks.

The blonde says calmly, "My car has a flat tire." 

"'Well, what the are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"

The blonde can't believe he doesn't know. She tells him, "Helloooooo, those are my..............

Emergency Flashers!" 

Five Blondes & A Cowboy

For your TGIF viewing pleasure~~~

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, cowboy, I think it's only fair, given that you're blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "Naw...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Ayiiiiieeeeee! (Cajun cowboy yell.)

Puzzled Blonde

I know it's been far too long since I posted a new Politically Incorrect joke, so let's remedy that today. Thanks goes to Kimmi, author of The Unbreakable Child (aka Writer in Waiting) for reminding me via Twitter that I've neglected this group. And we all know Gumbo Writer is an equal opportunity insulter!

As good luck would have it, a dear friend in God Bless Texas sent a great joke just the other day. May it kick your weekend off the right way -- with a laugh~~~

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What's it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

*crickets chirp*

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..." he lets out a deep sigh, .....................

(scroll down)

..........

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

Jigsaw photo by: donut

Corn Flakes photo by main.gov

Politically Incorrect

This made me laugh~~~

Politically Incorrect Kartoons & Other Stuff

Howdy, boys and girls. Hope the new year is serving you all well. Today's selections are a mixed bag of politically incorrect stuff or just plain weird.

Feel free to vote on your favorite. And you have a real good day now, ya hear?

1. Loading Dock Signage:













2. Colby's Dad:













3. *Itch Slap Justification:










4. Bad Colonel Sanders!:












5. Furball Fury:














6. Open Wide:

Word on Political Incorrectness

Welcome to the shady world of politically incorrect humor, my bloggerish friends, where we giggle and laugh away from the disapproving world. Today's offering runs the gamut from the ridiculous to the sublime. Thanks to email friends who supply me with a continuing stream of fodder to share with you. I hope you enjoy, and don't forget to vote for the one that tickles your funny bone the most.

But before we get into the grins, let me share a great article in the Chicago Tribune I just read by friend Amy Sue Nathan. If you need lessons on the fine art of re-gifting, she nails down the rules nicely. Good stuff here, y'all!



1. Please check all homework:











("Mom works at the hardware store selling shovels.")


...I'd like to have a Word with you about a few things...


2. Expired:















3. Cheers:














4. Invisi-Girl:














5. I taut I could fwy:













6. Really?














7. OSHA?

Politically Incorrect...Christmas Gift & Joke

Christmas shopping mullygrubs got ya down? Checking account squealing from hunger? Feel like this Ho-Ho-Hum Santa baby without much in your sack o' gifts to hand out this year? After reading about the suggested gift item below for all the lovely ladies in your life, I promise you'll feel better. And don't forget to check out the video I made just for you (in the spirit of the season) at the very bottom of the page above Mr. Al E. Gator...

Somewhat embarrassing to admit, I'm not getting an annual bonus and Christmas is tight this year. And I know a lot of people in the same boat.

So, this year, I'm going to be making a lot of handmade homemade gifts to wrap up! And for the womenfolk, I'll be making these adorable bedroom slippers for y'all. Before I begin, I'll need your shoe size, so please get those to me asap.

Dear bloggy friends, I'm sure you'll agree that it's a splendid idea, and should you wish to do the same, I've included the instructions below.

How to make bedroom slippers out of maxi pads:

You need four maxi pads to make a pair. Lay two pads out flat, for the foot part. The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top. Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part. Now, here's where the fun and creativity begins: decorate the tops with whatever you desire, silk flowers (this is most aesthetically appealing), glitter glue, fabric paint, sequins, recycled or found treasures, markers, beads, ribbons...just get out your glue gun and go wild!

These lovely slippers are:

*Soft and Hygienic

*Safe (Non-slip grip strips on the soles)
*Fight foot odor (Built-in deodorant feature acts as an odor eater to keep feet smelling fresh)

*Multi-purpose (No more bending over to mop up spills)

*Earth friendly (Disposable and biodegradable)

*Environmentally safe

*Conveniently sized: (1.) Regular, (2.) Light and (3.) Get out the Sand Bags.
I'm including a photo of the first pair I made so you can see the nifty slippers for yourself. I'm telling you -- hours and hours of fun, and they slip easily into the stockings hung on your mantle or into a plain brown lunch bag, which you can, of course, also decorate!

I am awaiting your response. It's crucial that I get the right size for each of you.

And, now, the joke~~

BLONDE CHRISTMAS

Two blonde roommates go deep into the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree. Exhausted after hours of sub-zero temperatures and a scary encounter with a hungry wolf, one blonde turns to the other and says, "I'm so like chopping down the next tree I see! I don't care if it's decorated or not!"

Politically Incorrect Letter - You Might be a Redneck...

In case you can't see it, the title of the photo is "Redneck Time Out."

Props go out to friend Oren for forwarding me this email so I could share it with you. Instead of "kartoons," we shall all enjoy politically incorrect Redneck thoughts today. I am proud to claim this label, along with "Cajun," "Coon-a$$," or any other moniker associated with being a red-blooded, hard-working and playing, patriotic American in the deep deep south, or from any geographical area. So, here ya go:

We have enjoyed all the redneck jokes for years (as well as Jeff Foxworthy's sketches of the seedier stereotypical side of life). It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God.

If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of those. If you feel the same, pass this on to your redneck friends. Y'all know who ya are!


You might be a redneck if...

• It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, "One nation, under God."
• You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
• You still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival."
• You bow your head when someone prays and you stand and place your hand over your heart when you hear the National Anthem.
• You treat our armed forces veterans with great respect, and always have.
• You've never burned an American flag, nor intend to.
• You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
• You respect your elders and raise(d) your kids to do the same.
• You'd give your last dollar to a friend.

...now, keep the fires burning, redneck friends.

Politically Incorrect Kartoons (PIK)

Yup, it's that time again -- PIK day. Take a gander and vote on your favorite:

1.) Oops!:

2.) Holiday Madness:

3.) Bad, Maxine, Bad!:

4.) The Weaker Sex:

5.) Slightly Used:

Turkey Flavored Politically Incorrect Kartoons

Yep, go ahead and shake your head at naughty Gumbo Writer. I just can.not help loving the slightly offensive in humor. In particular, I think sassy cartoons around the holidays make a nice side dish to the super sweet and savory other kind of graphics and homespun lovelies...kinda like a delicious slice of real key lime pie a few hours after a humongous holiday feast. Know what I mean?

So, for your Thanksgiving preparation pleasure, here are a few Turkey Day treats for ya [and please do feel free to vote for your fav and/or post a link to your own wicked or weird funny bone tickler]:

1. Maxine Gets Smart:

2. Thanksgiving "Pome":

May your stuffing be tasty

May your turkey plump,

May your potatoes and gravy

Have nary a lump.

May your yams be delicious

And your pies take the prize,

And may your big dinner

Stay off of your thighs!

3. Bad Bad Gobblers:

4. Thanksgiving in Oz:

5. Here, Turkey, Turkey, Turkey:

Many thanks to the friends who shared these yummy Politically Incorrect goodies with me by email!