Friday Funnies ~~ Redneck Ingenuity

Short & sweet today since I've run off to a writerly retreat with my twin Alaine and BFF Kat Magendie to work on poetry, painting, manuscripts, with a "little" fun thrown in. When I get back to "reality," I'll do up a nice post on the conference we attended and some of our other crazy doings. :)

Hope you're getting some good and extended ME time for yourselves.
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Indeedy, the picture of this Redneck Hanging Basket is worth a thousand or so words......

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And for your cultured eyeballs, the new spring issue of Rose & Thorn Journal is now live! [Cover art below.] We love comments, and so do our writers & poets.

Friday Foibles ~~ You Might Be a Redneck...

Thanks to good friend Jamie for forwarding me these new examples of Redneckism. May they start your weekend off with a smile!

If you're in need of some good short stories, a bit of flash fiction and/or lovely poetry, check out our spring issue of Rose & Thorn Journal just out yesterday.

Now...go forth and enjoy thyself. And do something nice for somebody else along the way, ya hear? :D

Friday Foibles ~~ Holiday Hysteria

I've just about gotten most of the gators chomping at my bahonkus under control AND Kat and I have been able to concentrate on reading some truly fantastic prose submissions (>200!) for our beloved Rose & Thorn Journal's winter issue.

Thanks for all your comments, wishes, prayers and concern for my unusual and extended absence from the Blogosphere. :)

Hope your weekend is a nice one. Let's kick off this TGIF with a double header Friday Foible. What is it about the holidays that make "normal" folks go a little nuts? Whatever it is, I wish it'd last longer into the new year. LOL Enjoy...

What can ya say? Maybe sing, "Rudolph the Redneck Reindeer?"...

This Christmas home decorator below sure used his/her thinking cap...

The note that accompanied this photo in an email (thanks Trudy!) says:

Good news is that I truly outdid myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after two days because I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories, but two things made me take it down.

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by.

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75-pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn’t realize that it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of the many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn’t take it either; I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up into my yard…

Again, You Might Be a Redneck

Yes folks, no matter your geographic location, you might just be a redneck if you've done or thought about doing any of the following...or even if you think it's a good idea and wish you'd come up with it first! [Thanks for forwarding, Marion.]

Behold.....Redneck Supremacy......

I. Ingenious Inventions (You Made Whut?):

A. "TP Hanger Thingy"

B. Rearview Defroster

...and while we're talking 'bout cars...

II. Vehicular Conversions (Pimp My Ride):

A. Compact Camper

B. Who Needs a Bike Trailer?

C. Sidecar Anyone?

III. X-treme Sports (Future Olympic Events?):

A. Cooler Racing

B. Discus Throwing

C. Ice Fishing

IV. Social Gatherings (What Not to Wear):

A. Ya-ya Wedding

And finally...

V. Yard Decor (Purty Adornments):

A. Couch Swing

B. Santa-sicles

You Might Be A Redneck...

Just wanted to make sure y'all know I'm an equal opportunity insulting cartoon displayer! I've given the blondes a few bad days, so now it's time for some good ol' fashioned Red Neck bashin'. [Dontcha love the way that rhymes?]

Since I've enjoyed visiting Cake Wrecks which Melissa recommended, I want to share some wedding cake photos a friend forwarded. *Thanks, Marion* Be sure to let me know if you have a favorite.

Before I unveil the nuptial delicacies, let me just say any of the three cakes could've been mine. The first one even has my and my DH's (Deer Hunter) initials correct, except for his middle name!

So, with a little Cajun Cowboy yell, off we go ---- Aaaieeeeeeee!

Politically Incorrect Letter - You Might be a Redneck...

In case you can't see it, the title of the photo is "Redneck Time Out."

Props go out to friend Oren for forwarding me this email so I could share it with you. Instead of "kartoons," we shall all enjoy politically incorrect Redneck thoughts today. I am proud to claim this label, along with "Cajun," "Coon-a$$," or any other moniker associated with being a red-blooded, hard-working and playing, patriotic American in the deep deep south, or from any geographical area. So, here ya go:

We have enjoyed all the redneck jokes for years (as well as Jeff Foxworthy's sketches of the seedier stereotypical side of life). It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God.

If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of those. If you feel the same, pass this on to your redneck friends. Y'all know who ya are!


You might be a redneck if...

• It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, "One nation, under God."
• You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
• You still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival."
• You bow your head when someone prays and you stand and place your hand over your heart when you hear the National Anthem.
• You treat our armed forces veterans with great respect, and always have.
• You've never burned an American flag, nor intend to.
• You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
• You respect your elders and raise(d) your kids to do the same.
• You'd give your last dollar to a friend.

...now, keep the fires burning, redneck friends.