Friday, February 18, 2011

Friday Funnies ~~ Information Overload?

Kinda sad to say I relate to some of this! Have a wonderful weekend, kicked off with a little bit of techy humor...

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter.

I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grandkids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say,"Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer.It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead, well, it was not a good relationship. When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the
cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden " Paper or Plastic ?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to
take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot."

Can you relate??!? (Please lie and say yes.) :D


kim said...

LOL! Angie a lovely weekend to you, mah dear!

Angie Ledbetter said...

Very same to you, my friend. Doubled! :D

Diane said...

I love me some bathroom humor intermixed with my humor. I am young-ish and hate all this technology. How did anyone survive 10, 20, 30, +++ years ago??? :O)

Tere Kirkland said...

LOL, I forgot my cellphone last Saturday (an item I lived without for the first 25 years of my life) and you'd think it was the end of days.

Everyone I told was particularly sympathetic. ;)

I think my dad sent me this in an email, but it still makes me smile.

Have a great weekend, Angie! (I'm in Krewe du Vieux tomorrow night!)

john bord said...

Have a cruising bayou weekend.... thanks for the chuckle.

Deb Shucka said...

I can especially relate to the GPS annoyance, although my brothers say I used to be a lot like that woman in the box. :-)

Thanks for starting my weekend with a laugh. Hope yours is wonderful.

Angie Ledbetter said...

Diane - We were much less stressed and could actually be alone and quiet without freaking out. :)

Tere - It IS weird to be without the phone (and I don't even have one of those computery ones!) sometimes. I'm tres jealous of your Krewe fun. Have a blast, you!

John - You have a great one too. :D

Ditto Deb!

Jan Rider Newman said...

LOL, and I do mean OL! Yeah, I relate.

Karen said...! You crack me up. AND yes, I blog and and text on my phone, but the tweeting, faces, and all that-NO. Or at least not yet. When I do finally learn it's out of style.

Rita's Random Ramblings said...

I totally relate! All tooo well! LOL

rosaria said...

You're already on a more advance planet than I am. I just signed up for Facebook. I don't twit, or do anything besides answering the phone once or twice a day from a neighbor down the street. All my children and grand, use facebook as their main message center.
Fine with me.
I'll pre-post my funeral arrangement for their convenience.

Dave King said...

I think the world is getting too complex for everyone, though not everyone admits it.

Kittie Howard said...

LOL! Thanks, Angie, for a good laugh. My hub has a rather new iPhone that's driving me nuts. He's got it programmed to make 'noise' for sports' scores. Grrrrr! Have a phone with four portables, am constantly looking for ONE. Deactivated FB...friends wanted me to look at pics RIGHT NOW. Walked away from Twitter as I really don't care what others are doing RIGHT NOW! Have a great weekend!

Lydia K said...

"everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation"

You got me hooting so loud on that one!

Yes, I can relate. It's all so dizzying.

Suldog said...

Relate? My dear, we're practically brother and sister.

Vodka Mom said...

Toot? What goes in must come out.

Linda Hoye said...

LOL Angie - bi-sacksual!

I love technology but freely admit there is so much I don't understand. I like browsing the Best Buy flyers on the weekend and looking at all gadgets most of which I have no idea what they are for! I'm thinking in a couple of years my grandkids will be four-years old and then they can tell me. Kids are up on these things!

Patti Lacy said...

Love the tweet comment, which about sums up how I feel about ANOTHER social media!!!

You made me smile! I have been craving that stretch of lips!!!

colbymarshall said...

I recently did a poszt about I was wondering what the average number of minutes was that went by on people
s smartphones between message alerts. MMine was like 2. It caused me to creare a setting I could put my phone on like "silent" only it's customized to not notify me in any viobrating, no blinking lightas, nothing. The setting is labelled "Dont' do any crap, ever." said...

That was pretty hysterical.

Kathryn Magendie said...

Hi My Bestest Wonderful Beautiful Friend!

Can't wait to see you at the Gulf Coast Creative Writing Teachers conference -whoop whoop!

Glynis said...

No lies from me. I cannot cope with gadgets that beep out bowel movements by the minute either! x

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