Guest Recipe Post - The Southern Spread

Hey y'all, meet my twin sister Alaine. She made one humdinger of a meal at our parents' yesterday, and kindly sent me the recipes after I photographed her yummy dishes. (All comments and instructions hers.) :D

And, no, the title of today's post does not refer to the size of my bahonkus, but to the completely satisfying nature of the meal she put on the table. Ha!

ALAINE’S Git It Greens-n-Grits

(Oh go on and read it, **yankees, ‘stead of sayin’, “Ewwwwwwww.”)

1 1/3 cup instant grits
1 tsp. salt
Tabasco (Google it)
Tony Chachere’s (Google it)
Garlic powder
(Yes, spices are most important to those of us who actually cook GOOD food, rather than just boilin’ it without a grain of salt--that’s yankee food. I’m tryin’ to educate y’all on the philosophy of Southern cookin’ so y’all actually git it.)
1 egg
1 stick butter
6-12 slices smoked bacon
1 ½ cup cooked greens (Collards, mustard greens, etc.--yankees can substitute spinach, if y’all promise to cook them right, ie: cook down with salt meat, tasso, or pig tails.)
1/2 cup half and half
1 ½ - 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese (No, brie or gouda won’t work—only cheddar, preferably sharp.)

*Grease your casserole dish (Rub with a stick of soft butter, or if you insist, spray with Pam.)
*Cook bacon in microwave, set aside. Squish liquid out of leftover greens, set aside. Git all other ingredients ready—grits cook quick!
*Cook grits (5 cups salted water, a splat of butter, stir constantly). Add cream. When starts to thicken, add egg in and whisk like hell til it intergrates into grits.
*Add cheese and half of crumbled bacon.
*Add 4 shakes of Tony’s, 4 shakes Tabasco, garlic powder, and salt-pepper to taste (ie: more than 4 grains). (If you’re Southern, you know what to do.). Stir til smooth and creamy.
*Pour into dish. Sprinkle with remaining cheese. Arrange rest of bacon on top. Cover. If not serving right away, bake at 350° (preheated) til cheese melted, uncovered, ‘bout 13 minutes.

** “yankee” means all y’all people up in the cold dayum north, all y’all ‘coasters’ livin’ on a coast other than the Southern one, and the rest a y’all in the middle states. And yes, only Southern is capitalized.)

Welcome Back Fall Ham

2-3 lb. pork shoulder hickory smoked Cook's picnic ham 
½ cup brown sugar
1 small jar green maraschino cherries (red seems too summery)
1 can pineapple chunks
½ can of Coke (Not Pepsi. Coke.)
Wooden toothpicks

*Place ham in deep Magnalite pot with lid. Preheat oven to 375°.
*Drain cherries, drain pineapple and add that juice to pot, plus Coke.
*Spear a cherry and a p-chunk and stick into ham.
*Sprinkle ham and pineapple with brown sugar and a little salt to cut all the sweet.
*Bake 22 minutes/pound covered.
*Place ham on platter and serve warm. (Cold with lotsa mustard for sammiches next day.)

Butter Peas

2 cans of sweet peas
2 TBS butter
Granulated garlic powder
Add sm. can mushroom w/stems (optional).

*Add butter and garlic to peas, heat, serve.

Biscuits

*Serve straight from oven with butter. (Yes, yankees, biscuits go with any meal. So does cornbread. Use whatever mix or canned biscuits you want. Southerners have their own family recipes. And we don’t share ‘em.)

 The Big Easy Blackberry Cobbler

4 TBS butter, melted
2/3 cup milk
1 package Louisiana Fish Fry cobbler mix (Correct. It does say ‘fish fry’.)
1 16 oz. can fruit or pie filling (blackberry or peach is best)

*Preheat oven to 375° (put in oven with ham).
*Pour the melted butter into a 9 X 9 baking dish.
*Add mix and milk to a bowl, stir until smooth.
*Spoon ¾ of the cobbler mixture into dish.
*Add fruit on top, then the remaining cobbler mixture.
*Bake 40-45 min. until golden brown.


(Best served warm with a scoop of vanilla ice-cream.)

***Enjoy, and have a good day now, ya hear? alainedb@cox.net***