Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Them's Fightin' Words!

"Mohhhhhhhhhmmmm, there's nothing to eat!" Oh, how I detest those words...pitiful (bogus) screams for help that spell out for the world, or at least the neighbors, what a pathetic mother I am. What it all boils down to in reality, is my teenagers just cannot see the abundance of prepared and/or easy-to-fix meals I have on hand at all times.

They are either meal challenged, lazy (hmmmm, I'm pretty sure this description is an apt one), or really prefer eating out and grabbing fast food. Dad, too, loves nothing more than eating out. In addition, unless it's sitting on the table hot and fresh and served on plates, nobody in this house can find the food.

Since it's impossible to fix a meal for all five members of my family and sit down to eat it at the same time ("working late," "baseball practice, then I gotta work a shift," "band practice," "I'll be meeting Suzie in an hour," "goin' to my girlfriend's," yada yada yada), I finally quit trying. But I swear, the food is still available!

Now I'm ready to set the record straight for moms and wives across the nation who face this mealtime challenge! Raise your left hand (the one holding the wooden spoon), put your right one on your favorite cookbook, and repeat after me:

"I will henceforth and forever after not feel guilty when a member of this household accuses me of not providing for their nutritional needs. I KNOW there is plenty of food in this house. And in fact, the very next time I hear words to the contrary, I will smack the offender in the head with this wooden cooking utensil and take myself out to dinner. This I do swear, on the ____ day of _____ month, 20__, in the sacred names of Betty Crocker, Aunt Jemima and Chef Boyardee."

Whew! I feel better already. I hope if you make the open-your-eyes-and-eat-what's-plainly-before-you pledge, you'll let me know how it went.

And as a reward for all you good women, below is a recipe for Quiche you might enjoy, and a link to a good and easy one for Gluten Free Peanut Butter Cookies, which I promised someone. Tiffany? (BTW, they're exceptionally good items to pack and take away with you for a weekend at the B&B with your women friends...alone...without family.) *Sorry guys, if you like to cook and are a good and loyal meal consumer, then feel free to enjoy the recipes also.*
But first, the evidence I've collected today for my defense against charges of bad mothering practices -- Exhibits A-G:

Fruit bowl (yeah, that's a plastic Easter
egg & fast food condiments thrown in). Fully stocked pantry.

Fridge (just cleaned out lots of uneaten, delicious meals!) Note the 2 Mickey D
chicken burgers on 4th shelf beneath
roast, ham, fruit, veggies, & chicken
salad containers).

Aha! Pizza boxes in the recycle bin.

Cajun Quiche

2 9-inch deep dish pie shells
6 large eggs, beaten (like they were teenagers)
1 1/2 cups shredded American cheese (6 oz.)
1/2 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese
1 pound lump crabmeat or crawfish tails
1/2 pound cleaned medium shrimp
1 bunch green onions, chopped
2 cups heavy or whipping cream
1 teaspoon Creole seasoning (or Tony's, or salt/pepper/cayenne/garlic mix)

Heat oven to 350. Prick bottoms of frozen pie shells with a fork. Bake 10 minutes until lightly browned. Meanwhile, combine eggs, cheeses, onions, cream and seasonings in a large bowl until well blended. Fold in seafood. Divide filling evenly into pie crusts. Bake 50-55 minutes until filling is set in center. Makes 12 servings. Ca c'est bon!

Now.......what's in your 'fridge?


Kathryn Magendie said...

*Snort!* laughing.....you crack me up, Angie...

Terri Tiffany said...

Awesome post! You put a lot of work into this one! Can I come eat at your house?? Your pantry is way more stocked than mine!
And yes, the only thing my husband can make is soup, popcorn or a bowl of ice cream.

And thanks for thinking of me with the gluten free:))

Janna Qualman said...

*snicker* Great post! I appreciate your time with this one, and will be repeating the vow soon. :)

I really go through this with my husband, who is both picky and unable to prepare anything but a cold bowl of cereal. Or maybe a pouch or two of instant oatmeal. And my girls are younger than your kids, but it's started with them, already, because whatever I have "doesn't sound good." *sigh*

tut-tut said...

Don't you know it tastes soooo much better when Mother makes it?

Melissa Marsh said...

I'd say you have PLENTY of food on hand! My teenage boys have this thing for Cup of Noodle soup. They could eat it practically every meal, even when there are leftovers in the fridge!

Hubby spent the day cooking on Sunday - he made meatloaf and his famous homemade chicken noodle soup. So I don't have to cook for the next few days. :-)

Angie Ledbetter said...

Kat, you're a good egg. LOL

Sure, Terri, come on down!

Janna, it's funny how every single thing "sounds good" when you drive thru fast food joints or kids see a menu of any sort. Hey...maybe we should start making menus of forthcoming meals and hand 'em around. *snort*

Tut-tut, I think so, but kids can't appreciate that yet. Cannot wait to visit them in their first homes/apts. and see what delicious things they serve.

Melissa, do you realize September 25th is Hubby Swap day? Wanna switch? ;)

The Paper Whisperer said...

Laugh my ass off! A ranting complete with EVIDENCE! and a plastic Easter Egg to boot! Once I was backing out of the driveway on Glen Ellen, off to a hair appt. Hears comes my ex-DH chasing me down the driveway, hands flailing in the air.."What are we supposed to do for lunch?!!!!" I just stared at him and then BURNED RUBBER!! That WAS grounds for divorce wasn't it? As for the Kiddo's,next time they leave put childproof locks on the cabinets and see how fast they grow up! You kitchen witch you! And thanks a TON for the quiche recipe. Yummers!! Huggage..........PW

Angie Ledbetter said...

So glad you enjoyed, PW!

Anonymous said...

We have very little in our fridge since we had 2 hurricanes last month. Your boys need to step up. Remind me not to tick off PW.

Angie Ledbetter said...

Oren, can ya smack 'em both for me if you're at Scouts tomorrow night? And LOL on the last comment about PW. She acts mean, but she's really a pushover. ;)

colbymarshall said...

It's the equivalent of the "I'm boooooorrrrreeeeed" when there's a room full of books, toys, games...lol

Kim @ My Journey said...

So good to meet you! My husband would love this quiche recipe. I'll have to give it a try! Really like your blog!!!

Angie Ledbetter said...

So true, Colby. arghh!

Thanks, Kim. I enjoyed yours too! Note to Self: go back and check out Kim's journey again tomorrow. ;)

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