Friday Funnies ~~ Seven Degrees of Coonass, A Blonde & A Lawyer

 Here's one last Cajun joke squeezed in before the end of the year. May we all have a little more laughter and joy in 2011!!!

Love y'all. XXO  :)

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SEVEN DEGREES OF COONASS

FIRST DEGREE
Boudreaux and his wife were asleep when the phone rang at two in the morning.


Boudreaux picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know? Dat's  200 miles from here!" and hung up.


The wife said, "Mais, Boo, who was dat?"


Boudreaux answered, "I don't know, some man wanting to know if da coast is clear."

SECOND DEGREE
Two Cajuns are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. He opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, dis person looks familiar." The second Cajun says, "Here, lemme see!" So the first Cajun hands him the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

THIRD DEGREE
Boudreaux suspects his wife of cheating on him, so he goes out and buys a gun. He goes to his house unexpectedly and when he opens the door he finds her in the arms of another man. Well, Boudreaux is really angry. He pulls out the gun, and as he does so, he is overcome with grief. He takes the gun and puts it to his head. His wife yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"


Boudreaux replies, "Shut up, you're next!"


FOURTH DEGREE
Boudreaux was bragging about his knowledge of state capitals. He proudly says, "Go ahead, and axe (ask) me, I know all dem  capitals." Thibodaux says, "OK, what's da capital of Wisconsin?"

Boudreaux replies, "Oh, dat's a easy one! It's W." 


FIFTH DEGREE
What did the Cajun girl ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?


"Is it mine?"


SIXTH DEGREE
Boudreaux, a Cajun in his fourth year as an LSU Freshman, sat in his US Government class. The professor asked Boudreaux if he knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Boudreaux pondered the question then finally said, "Dat was da decision George Washington had to make before he crossed da Delaware "


SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, Boudreaux was shocked to find his house ransacked and burglarized. He telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, Boudreaux ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting his face in his hands, Boudreaux moaned, "Oh yai yai. Me, I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call da police for help, and what y'all do? Y'all send me a BLIND officer!"
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Now, just for good measure, I'm throwing in a blonde joke and a lawyer joke so I can be an equal opportunity insulter! :D

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A blonde was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat which was hiding in the grass.

She rushed her cat, along with the tail, over to Walmart! 

Why Walmart? 

HELLOOOOOOOOO! Walmart's the largest re-tailer in the world!!!
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A lawyer boards a plane in New Orleans...with a box of frozen crabs under his arm. He asks a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.

She takes the box and promises to put it in the crew's refrigerator.

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he's a lawyer, and proceeds to rant at her about what will happen if she lets them thaw out.

Needless to say, she is annoyed by his behavior. 

Shortly before landing in New York, she uses the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up, so she takes the crabs home and eats them. 

Two lessons here:

1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren't always as dumb as most folks think.