Thanks to friend Laura (aka Stompy) for forwarding this, and to Marilyn for the second one. Hope you get a few giggles like I did~~~Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow for my dogs Dexter, Gypsy, Sky & Blade. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
Since I had little else to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog. I was starting the Purina Diet again even though I shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the bright side, though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.
I told her it was essentially a perfect diet. The way it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)
Horrified, she asked if the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no - I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt when the car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
~~~~~
And because swine flu fills the news...As the two friends wandered through the woods on their way home, Piglet grinned to himself, thinking how lucky he was to have a best friend like Pooh...
...and Pooh thought to himself, "If the pig sneezes, he's freakin' dead!"
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21 comments:
Gotta love the Pooh.
LOL I didn't get the pooh one, but it's early and I'm up against my will.
The other one is so funny! I love it.
LOL...Love it!
Becca, Pooh always gets a snicker outta me. :)
Jessica.....think SWINE FLU!
Happy Saturday, Missy.
Oh, hee hee... a good way to start the day, for sure! Love the Pooh one... poor Piglet!
Thanks, Angie- and Laura and Marilyn!
:)
Hahaha! Loved the Pooh and too funny on the Purina. Thanks, (((((Angie))))))!
hugs and praying.
Loved the Purina one! That was a good chuckle.
DaftHermit, thanks for the return visit. :)
You're welcome, RedBird!
Thanks bunches, kimmi. Now, GO SELL SOME BOOKS! (And you too, Kat, when you come by.) :)
Debbie, glad ya got a grin.
LOL ... one of the best swine flu posts I've seen!
Small Footprints
http://reducefootprints.blogspot.com
How hilarious!!!
That cartoon is th funniest I have seen in a while. Thanks for the laugh!
:) Hey, Small!
LLII, pretty good, hunh?
You're more than welcome, Karen.
Dog food joke never gets old. Got one of our runners with the old porcupine egg joke. Yea the little darlin is blonde. She bit hook, line, and sinker. Give Mom a hug, tell her you love her. She already knows, but it never gets old.
Oren
Hey, Oren. Maybe you can tell the blonde runner about snipe hunting too? :) Delivered hugs to Mom and told her again what an angel she is. Hugs to y'all.
Hahahahahaha!
This cracked me up. Can't stop laughing. Both were hilarious.
Yes, I'm out of my funk for now, spent the night with butt in chair, got another chapter written. Less than 25,000 words to go. That's my goal, anyway. 100,00. Trimming will no doubt knock the word count down a bit when it's finally finished.
Hugs...D
Thanks for the morning laughs.. always a treat. :)
Mid, cute stuff, huh?
Dorothy, so glad you enjoyed, kudos on your writing goals coming into range!
You're welcome, Hilary. :)
Love it!
Thanks for your comment about Ellen Foster. I think you would just LOVE this book. It's only a small 126 pages, but it packs a punch!
K
We aren't allowed to snipe hunt with our athletes. I'll tell you the porcupine story next time I see you.
Oren
Oh, I wish I had the balls to pull off the dog food story at my local pet store - although I guess it would have to be one I don't want to return to ever again.
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